Sunday, January 2, 2011

Failure is Fruitful

Failure: The Foundation for Success
¨ Don’t allow failure and disappointment to hold you back from realizing your dreams in life. Failure does happen but it happens to everyone and sometimes the most important discoveries come to us as a result of failure.
¨ Failure for many, has served as the impetus for reflection and innovation. Failure serves as a springboard to innovation when it is perceived or framed as an opportunity to make change and create progress. Stumbling blocks can serve as stepping stones. Obstacles can be opportunities.
¨ Johnson and Johnson have had many failed ventures that have resulted "placing bets on many potential opportunities -- most opportunities possibly fail, but the ones that do succeed, they succeed big" and these failures "are an essential price to pay for successful innovation and long-term growth”. Mr. Johnson himself is quoted as saying, "failure is our most important product".
                                                          Johnson & Johnson (2006).

Soar to New Heights
¨ Don’t let failure stand in your way. It happens, let your stumbling blocks be stepping stones, change your obstacles into opportunities.
¨ Celebrate your progress in healthy ways and recognize that change is happening in your life. We suggest that you create checkpoints for yourself. Every thirty days write down a list of how you are feeling, your short-term goals to accomplish, what you have accomplished at this point and then compare on a monthly basis what you have completed and brought into reality so that you will be able to highlight your transformation and pat yourself on the back. Do not be discouraged if you have not met all of your short-term goals from last month just move them forward to your new list.




NOW is YOUR Time!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

8 Toxic Personalities to Avoid by Brett Blumenthal

Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.

Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.

Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?

This article was written by Brett Blumenthal

Friday, April 24, 2009

Stress, Perception, and Locus of Control

Perception and locus of control are interrelated skills that determine how one handles stress and how resilient individuals are to crisis, chaos, and stressful events. People that believe they have less stress believe that they are in control of their own lives. Lazarus and Folkman (1984) believe “psychological stress is a particular relationship between the person and the environment that is appraised by the person as taxing or exceeding his or her resources and endangering his or her well-being” (as cited by McCauley, 2005). Clawson (2006) asks the question, how much do we live life inside-out versus outside-in? Are we living fully influenced by and reacting to our external environment (which creates a victim mindset) or do we feel that we have control or perceive that we have control over our external environment by exhibiting thoughtful responsive actions outward? Darwin (n.d.) states “it’s not the strongest of the species who survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change”. According to Senge (2003) when we live life with an external locus of control, “we are victims of a self-reinforcing crisis of perception – a crisis of our own making”.
References:
McCauley, C. (2005). Stress and the eye of the beholder. Leadership in Action, 25(1), 3.
Senge, P.M. (2003). Creating desired futures in a global economy. Reflections; Vol.5, Iss. 1. EBSCOhost Database.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Perspective is EVERYTHING!

I hope you will watch this video and learn from a dying woman how we can better frame our own lives and be truly thankful and grateful for every breath we take! Turn up your volume and enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StAQqsDAirk

Monday, April 13, 2009

Emotional Hijacking

Whether frameworks are personal or professional, emotions can be helpful or hindering no matter the environment. Kouzes (2003) talks about contagion and leadership and that when in a group environment that an “emotional soup” is created with each adding their own flavor and how people take emotional cues from the top and the domino effect ripples downward creating the emotional climate. Kouzes (2003) also discusses emotional hijacking and how negative emotions hijack attention away from the task at hand, eroding mental abilities, and impairing social skill-sets. Negative emotions are just plain bad for business whereas positive emotions create a positive environment, contributing to job satisfaction and overall increased performance levels. One of the statements that really stuck from this writer’s perspective is that happy employees make happy customers and this ultimately increases revenue. There is a direct link between leadership to climate to business performance.

Reference:
Kouzes, J.M. (2003). Business Leadership. A Jossey-Bass Reader

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Reducing Stress through Positivity

I am a firm believer in positive perceptions, positive thinking, and that the battlefield of the mind is where we need to stand guard most vigilantly. We can lose the battle or accept defeat with “stinking thinking” before we ever make a physical move or a verbalization in any situation. Chiu et. al. (2005) believes that “locus of control can influence experienced stress by affecting one’s perceived ability to cope with and perhaps change a stressful environment” (p. 837). According to Sosik and Godshalk (2000) job stress is linked to health problems and illness, poor performance, waning effectiveness and waxing health care costs. Additionally, job related stress is reported as costing corporate America approximately $200 billion annually, or 10% of U.S. GNP (Sosik & Godshalk, 2000). Stress may be abated through communicating effectively, increasing efficacy expectations, clarifying performance expectations, participating in or developing support groups, strengthening relationships, and continuing to expand opportunities to learn and develop personally and professionally.

References:
Chiu, C., Chien, C., Lin, C. & Hsiao, C.Y. (2005). Understanding hospital employee job stress and turnover intentions in a practical setting: the moderating role of locus of control. The Journal of Management Development; Bradford: 2005, Vol. 24, Iss. 10.
Sosik, J.J. & Godshalk, V.M. (2000). Leadership styles, mentoring functions, a job-related stress: a conceptual model and preliminary study. Journal of Organizational Behavior; June 2000, Vol. 21, Iss. 4.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Global Business Opportunities

I have recently become part of an international company that is literally changing peoples lives. The organization offers an unbelievable product in the health and wellness industry coupled with an unbelievable business opportunity. The company is based in the U.S. and active in more than 12 countries around the world and opening the European and Malaysian markets in the 4th quarter of this year. I am very excited about what this business has to offer! The top people in the company are making more than $7 million per year. The organization is just less than 4 years old and has already done more than $2 billion dollars! This is an opportunity to have your own business that will create multiple streams of income. They have taken this product to market through relationship marketing and it is growing like wildfire! Please check out the following link and watch the first and second video clips. This can truly change your life! I would love to have you on board! E-mail me for more information ashafer@cfl.rr.com
http://dev-brighart.com/about-brig-and-monavie

Cheers to health, wealth, blessings and freedom!